February 12, 2023

“The Kingdom, Part 3: Kingdom Relationships” by the Rev. Don Wahlig, Year A / Epiphany 6 – Deuteronomy 30:15-20 or Sirach 15:15-20 • Psalm 119:1-8 • 1 Corinthians 3:1-9 • Matthew 5:21-37

THEME:  Jesus call us to invest ourselves in loving Kingdom relationships even when it’s difficult.

The other day I was flipping between movies on the Disney Channel and I came across one that we used to watch with our girls: Beauty and the Beast. I confess I am a romantic at heart.  I love this movie. You probably know the plot. Belle, a beautiful, bookish young woman in a rural village, finds herself locked in a castle with a prince who has been turned into a beast.  It’s fair to say that the two of them get off to a very rocky start. But over time, despite the circumstances, things begin to change between them. Through persistent mutual effort, grounded in the unlikeliest spark of romance, Belle and the Beast come to the surprising discovery of their love for one another. This breaks the spell and the beast becomes a prince once again. 

The way their relationship evolved reminded me of the lesson Jesus teaches his followers in our passage from the Gospel of Matthew. This morning we conclude our sermon series on the Kingdom of God. We’ve been focusing on Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. You’ll remember we started 2 weeks ago by unpacking the Beatitudes.  We were surprised that Jesus described the blessing of the downtrodden, but we came to understand that the source of their blessing was their humility, vulnerability, and openness which gave them access to the Kingdom, along with those who help them. 

Last week, we explored what Jesus meant when he called his followers salt and light. By serving those in need, we and those we help enjoy a taste of the heavenly banquet in God’s Kingdom. But in order to be salt and light, we need to have the right motivation, which is love.  Once again, Jesus surprised us by saying that love is what makes us more righteous than the Pharisees who are motivated by legalistic observance of the law.

This morning, Jesus surprises us yet again.  He offers his followers a series of teachings on murder, adultery, and divorce. He describes each one using a formula: “You have heard it said ABC, but I say to you XYZ.”  With each teaching, he first points out the minimum requirement of the law. Then he commands an even higher requirement of life in God’s Kingdom. In doing that, he is calling our attention to the place where it should be focused: on our hearts. 

Let’s look at that list. At first glance we might think these are just a random mish-mash of lessons that have little to do with each other, or with the Kingdom. But, if we look deeper, we see they all have something fundamental in common. They all have to do with broken relationships. Let’s start with murder. Everyone who is listening to Jesus knows that #6 on the list of God’s ten commandments is ‘Thou shalt not kill’.  But Jesus says the act of murder starts much earlier than the deed itself. It starts in the disposition of the heart. According to Jesus, murder begins with anger. When we are angry with someone, it’s all too easy to escalate to the next step, which is to ridicule and condemn the person who is the object of our anger. And that sets us on the path that ultimately leads to murder. Far better, Jesus says, to reconcile with someone with whom we are angry, before we ourselves are condemned to judgment by those who are angry with us.

The same downward spiral pertains to adultery. Like murder, adultery begins in the heart. Lust is the seed of adultery. Jesus says we would be better off blind than consumed by physical desire for another. The same, he says, is true of divorce. Divorce was a big issue in Jesus’ day, as it is in ours.  It was an issue in ancient Israel, too. We know that because the Jewish law makes provision for a man to divorce his wife if he finds her unpleasing.

Let’s bear in mind here that both marriage and divorce were far different in Jesus’ day than in ours. In the ancient world, the man had all the power.  His wife was his property. Divorce was solely the husband’s prerogative. Jesus is teaching that the impulse to divorce one’s wife starts with displeasure in the husband’s heart.  Please hear me when I say that today, we view marriage very differently. Modern marriage requires mutual obligations of love, respect, and support, not to mention boatloads of patience, tolerance, and forgiveness. The idea that someone should stay in an abusive marriage, or a marriage in which husband and wife are fundamentally incompatible, is not at all what this passage is saying. Nor is it what I’m saying. Most important, if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship of any kind, married or not, seek help and get to safety.

What Jesus is saying is that mere displeasure with one’s spouse is no grounds for divorce.  But let’s do a reality check here. Who among us does not get angry with someone else? Who among us does not experience lust? And, if we’re honest, even the most happily married couple have days when they each wonder whether they’d be better off without the other one.  What Jesus is saying is that this is not how God intends his children to relate to one another in his Kingdom. He is intentionally describing this movement from anger to lust to separation as a slippery slope, a downward spiral that begins in the heart.

Our hearts are the source of our will. It’s where our intentions and our desires are formed. What is in our hearts determines what we do and what we say. That determines how we relate to others. If our hearts are full of mercy, compassion, and love, we will be joined to one another and committed to one another’s well-being. That is how we experience life in the Kingdom.  God finds that pleasing.  

But that begs a big question: how do we change our hearts? How do we shape them so that we desire the kinds of things and the quality of relationships that God finds pleasing? In other words, how do we develop a Kingdom heart? In the very next passage, Jesus will give us the answer. He tells the crowds, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” His point is that we decide where to invest our time, our energy, our affections, and our resources. And that decision shapes our hearts.

Notice that it’s not the other way around. He does not say “wherever you’ve decided to invest yourself, there is your treasure.” But that is what most people think, if only by default. We tend to take our own self-centered desires as a given, and then we call those things treasure. But, as often as not, it’s really just a way of rationalizing our own self-interested behavior.

Jesus is saying something very different. He says we have the power to change what we desire by changing in what and in whom we invest our time, energy, and affection. So, if we desire deeper, more mutual, more loving relationships, then the necessary first step is to invest ourselves in those relationships.  Failing to do that is what leads to broken relationships. By the same token, deciding to do that can restore them. That is how relationships are mended and maintained in the Kingdom.

The model for Kingdom relationships is none other than Gods relationship with us. In the Covenants he makes with Abraham and Sarah, Moses and David, and ultimately in the New Covenant in Jesus Christ, God is utterly, completely, and eternally invested in his relationship with us.

No matter how often we fail to invest in our relationship with him, God keeps on seeking us out. That is the Kingdom standard for relationships. Friends, don’t give up on your relationships. Whether it’s a friend, a fiancé or a spouse, a parent, a sibling or a child, don’t give up on love – even if it’s a risk.  The Dutch Priest and Professor, Henri Nouwen once said: “Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy, but also great pain. “The greatest pain of all comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies … the pain of the leaving can tear us apart.

“Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving.  And love is stronger than fear, life is stronger than death, hope is stronger than despair.  We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.”  As much of a romantic as I am, I’m not saying that your beast is suddenly going to become a prince, but the only way to find out is to invest in the relationship. And love is always worth investing ourselves in.

  May it be so.